55-56, What were you thinking?
So, yesterday was my birthday and instantly I transitioned from 55 to 56 years of age! How amazing is that?
Some of you may have noticed my apparent absence of late. I have been temporarily withdrawn from social engagement as I have been recovering from major surgery 🙂
In case you were wondering, I had an ovarian tumor the size of a basketball. Therefore, in September, a tumor baby was delivered and a radical hysterectomy and oophorectomy was performed.
Many people asked how could I get to that state of being without saying anything. How could it go unnoticed for so long?
Well, the truth is, I was fully aware of my condition and managed my daily discomforts with persistent Seichim Reiki Qigong. I prefer not to complain of any problems to anyone as I do not wish to attract overwhelming energies of fear, pity, and worry. When it became extremely obvious, my fiancé insisted I go to emergency. I had blood work and urinalysis, a CT which displayed a very large abdominal mass, more blood work, a transvaginal ultrasound, an EKG, chest X-Ray, exams and interviews, and finally surgery.
A great number of doctors were involved in diagnosing and treating my condition. The CT images were quite helpful but the origin of the tumor was not precisely clear, therefore additional tests were involved, e.g., transvaginal ultrasound, and blood work to identify tumor markers indicating its origin. I was told that normal tumor markers are about 30 and mine was 11,000 for ovarian. There were many questions about family history, particularly ovarian or uterine cancer, I explained that there was none to my knowledge but who can know for sure.
The surgery went very well; the initial biopsy during surgery indicated no cancer, the doctors, nurses and all caregivers were superb, and my recovery has been excellent. The follow-up exams also were good and the full biopsy report was benign fibroma. My body temple now displays a lovely seven-inch zipper tattoo; and every day, in every way, I am getting better and better and better 😉
You may be wondering what were some of my “daily discomforts” or symptoms, so I shall share a bit now.
About April of 2013 I suddenly experienced the most extreme cramping pains on my left side around the ovary. This pain and also bloating persisted for at least a week, I had no menstrual flow.
The following month, the same experience occurred on the right side.
For the next couple of months I only experienced a couple of days of spotting, no real cycle. Night sweats and hot flashes set on, and each month I experienced the same cramping pains and bloating but no menstrual flow.
Macular degeneration presented itself and impacted my vision in a very unwelcome way.
Within a few months I began to feel chronic pain in my tailbone. There was a heavy pulsating just below my navel, like massive blood pumping. My uterus started to shift north and I felt a growing bump.
In a few months time I experienced chronic heartburn and indigestion and I could not eat very much. I had chronic discomforts in my abdomen. My liver was pinched and bruised. Each month I would experience at least a week of severe cramping pains and bloating. I felt very much as I did when I was nine-months pregnant.
The bump had grown into a basketball size moon rock; and my fiancé, who until this point had remained somewhat oblivious, was horrified to discover its dimension, its hardness, and that I had been quietly experiencing chronic pain.
He asked, “what were you thinking?” and all I could say was that I prefer not to complain about problems. You see, I am a bit of an empath and other people’s fears and worries have very strong vibrations that are difficult enough in ideal situations and quite overwhelming in not so ideal situations. I prefer to keep my energy focused on positive vibrations instead.
I say this not that you may follow my example of not promptly seeking medical attention, or even that you should quietly suffer, but that you may have more understanding and recognition. Also, that you may know the value of body, mind, spirit practices such as Seichim Reiki Qigong, I can say without reservation, this practice helps me in all things. It is my lifestyle, you might even say it is my religion although I would not necessarily call it that. At any rate, it is the one thing I do persistently, 24/7 — yes, even in the hospital!
And, illness, or any other kind of suffering in itself is not a bad thing. All things have beauty and purpose, it is up to us to discern its value and use it for the greatest good, for self discovery and mastery.
I wish to express my gratitude to all my relations in heaven and earth, to all beings sharing this experience in this epic drama of life in the infinite living mind of the all in whom we live and move and have our being.
Namasté, the divine in me honors the divine in you.
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